The story of my flight

Murali and I had a silly fight. And then there was some name calling. But we agreed to disagree and decided to move on. I was going to Vegas. Of course I moved on. 
After sometime, he texted me a link of some cool new android feature. Being the nerd that he is, I take that sending me a link to a tech article was his way of saying sorry. And I forgive him. NOT. 
I boarded the flight and was so excited to know that I was the first one to occupy my seat in that row. This is huge because I didn’t have to squeeze myself to get to my window seat worrying if the ones already seated are staring my rear end, while I walk past them. Then I fuss over my leggings being overly tight-fitting which could potentially make my legs look fat. To prevent all this from happening, I try and rush to my spot, accidentally stamping my neighbor’s foot making them realize what a weighty package I am anyway. And, they will hate me for the remainder of our journey, which is disappointing. So it’s best if I take my seat first. 
Also, I am working on being less whiny. 
And if you still haven’t fallen asleep by now, let’s continue? 
OK. I am scared of air-travel. And this was one of my weird flights. Everyone on the flight seemed overtly enthusiastic. Laughing and talking loudly. Except me of course. It’s as if they all knew each other. The guy next to me even cheered when we took off. I so wanted to punch the guy. 
I, on the other hand was holding on to the handle snugly to a point of cutting-off blood supply to my fingers. I urge airline companies to make people do a shot or two before boarding to help nervous wrecks like me. How I hate the first few minutes after take off. 
Even the slightest come down makes me consider the fact that we may crash. And then I suddenly realize how thinking of bad things may attract bad things to actually happen. Thanks to a movie that I watched called ‘law of attraction’ or ‘secret of attraction’ or something. It’s a great movie except when I’m flying because I start making a weird pig face nodding & debating, ‘the plane’s gonna crash’ ‘I am not thinking the plane’s gonna crash’ ‘the plane’s gonna crash’ ‘I am not thinking the plane’s gonna crash’ in my head until there is a loud signal, which, as a rule, means that we’ve made it to the top, safe. 
Shortly after reaching that point, I saw something that I’ve never seen before. I saw an accident from up top. I don’t think it was anything big, so sounding excited doesn’t make me an awful person. But, both cars pulled over to the curb to smack each other in the face, I assume. What fun. And I, instead of continuing to remain excited, started thinking of my own accident. Yes. I rear ended a car few weeks ago. Not on purpose. Of course. It made me think, what if someone, just like me, watched me crash from an airplane as it happened. Well, I would like to think of them as God. Just as how I’d like to think of myself as god-like when I watched them collide. Seriously. If being 35,000 feet up the ground and watching random cars crash from an airplane, is not god-like, then I don’t know what is. 
Just so you know, laughing at my divine manifestation, hurt a little.  
45 minutes later, the big guy sitting next to me was already pretty tipsy from finishing his second drink. I think. If he was not, then why was he staring at me every so often? At least I would like to think that he was. He kept looking towards me. I couldn’t tell if he was staring at me or looking outside the window. Either way, puts me in a difficult spot because I hastily turned to him to see if he trying to make a conversation & find him staring outside the window. Now, he looks at me to see why I suddenly turned to look at him with a huge question mark on my face. And we end up looking at each other smiling awkwardly, then, I pretend (poorly) like I was looking elsewhere. FYI, I’ve never wanted to look at this guy to begin with, but it got awkward thrice and I am sure he thinks I’ve lost my mind. So, I decided to close the window shutter so neither of us gets to enjoy the view now. Not only am I letting go of the gorgeous view outside, but I also have to hold my pee till we land. Perks of choosing a window seat you see. Wanting to torture my bladder seemed ok when I was looking at the clouds that appeared like a world made of giant cotton candies. 
A little advise? Either choose a window seat so you can look outside whenever. If you don’t, then please let the person that chose the window seat enjoy the view. It’s perfectly ok to drink and sleep when you have nowhere to look. 
When we landed, Vegas welcomed us with a huge hoarding of bare chested macho-men that read ‘Thunder from Down Under’. Oh how I love Vegas!

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