Choices

It has been a little over three years since I’ve started my professional life after post grad. I completed an year with my current employer last month and I’m glad that it has worked out for me the way it has. Except the dreaded travel bit that I go through every day, I like how my day goes.

I’m an early bird, by early I mean I’m in office by 7.30 in the morning after a 45 minute drive. And I wrap up somewhere between 4.00 to 5.00 in the evening. I come back home, watch TV, read, work out occasionally, go out for a walk, take pictures and even cook if I’m in a good mood. And I like that I have a life outside of work to do all these things that I absolutely love. I’ve never been a work 24/7 kinda person, so I can actually say I have a pretty satisfying work-life balance. (wow, how often does one to get to say that really?) I’m busy while I’m at work but I make a conscious effort not to bring work home. I have an awesome manager who hates to micromanage and I for one cannot be micromanaged. So, we have a fantastic relationship going, my salary pays for my bills, housing loan, education loan, vehicle loan and even my occasional indulgences but I am not *very* happy with how much I make. Generally speaking, I’m quite happy work-wise.

But, my husband on the other hand is a workaholic. He just cannot get himself to spend two minutes relaxing, reading non-work related stuff, cooking or simply hang with me to watch an episode of House. He simply CANNOT. If I sway him into spending 30 minutes on doing nothing, I can see that he feels tortured and restless making me feel guilty for asking him to even try. Well, whatever he is doing, is working well for him. His paychecks are much bigger than mine so it’s somewhat justified right? But the catch is it puts tremendous pressure on me. Here’s why.

I feel like I have to be busier. I feel like I’ve to be stressed out to feel accomplished. I feel like I should be up until midnight responding to emails so I’m the first one to get to an issue. I feel like I should not have time for hobbies since I’m only 27. I feel guilty even talking about having babies and that I HAVE to make more money although I’m not sold on the whole money=happiness, supposition. But I will say that at this point of time in my life money is sure as hell is motivating although it hasn’t become my everything. I shudder at the thought of being an under achiever. But am I really?

But but but, he is also hugely inspiring. I watch him gawk eyed because I learn so much from him all the time. He is someone who I look up to in every sense of the word. I haven’t come across anyone with that kind of focus and dedication. But, it confuses the heck out of me when I sit down to evaluate my own professional success. I know I can make myself busier and richer if I tried harder. But, is that what I need to do? Should I even be comparing?

Today, he came home from work tired, settled in on the couch and a few minutes later, started work again. Phew, how does he do that? #introspecting

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5 thoughts on “Choices

    1. Ranjini Post author

      Not trying to imitate at all. Just questioning if having a couple of hours to myself everyday with a full time is a bad thing. I’m either doing something very right or very wrong.

      Reply
  1. Murali Krishna H K

    Now I know why you were laughing yesterday! Love the post.

    Because I can only think of work, I need you to keep me focused on fun :-) that’s why I like you.

    Okay I’m really getting bad at writing. Can you wrote a blog for me about how you are useful to me ? ;)

    Reply
  2. Little Fingers

    I can relate a lot of what you are referring, and I am in similar boat as you with a husband who works round the clock and sleep only few hrs everyday. I have implemented few things in my life to find sanity. I need to blog them . But these days my work is as busy like him now that I work for a big brand. I want to go back and have a job where I can find better work family balance life.

    Reply

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