I wonder if she will remember this year of her life when she grows up- her tiny body curled up against mine nursing and napping on repeat, all day, everyday. I wonder if she remembers that early morning nursing session when she woke up and her sleepy eyes looked straight into mine and smiled for the very first time. I wonder if she will miss sleeping in the embrace of my iron clad arms. (At one point I was convinced that I will need an arm replacement surgery!) I wonder if the bags under my eyes will remind her of the time she kept me up all night, wanting to nurse and refusing to sleep. I wonder if she will ever truly understand how I have dedicated every ounce of my existence to help her thrive. I wonder if she will ever realize what a powerful and an overwhelmingly beautiful influence she has been in my life.
Well, there is a good chance she won’t remember any of it. Heck, there is a good chance even I won’t remember all of it. But you know what, it doesn’t matter. If anything, the very core of our relationship has been built on the incredible experiences we have shared together. And to say that nursing her was in some way or another an indispensable part of every one of our adventures these last twelve months would be an understatement. Nursing for me is not a thing that I accomplished but a feeling. An indescribable feeling of love that my daughter and I will carry in our hearts forever that our minds will soon forget. Sigh.
Mihira, my little love, your dad and I love you more than we are willing to admit. We are absolutely thrilled to have you in our lives and so dang proud of every little thing you have accomplished this year. We adore your feisty personality and beyond excited to watch you grow.
Happy first birthday baby!