Wind chill don’t seem to bother this one. I open the balcony door for her and watch her stash as many dried leaves as her little palms will let her. She is desperate to taste the muddy leaves but holds herself back for she knows her mama won’t let her. She looks around to see if I’m watching her and sneak in a bite somehow. I wish I wasn’t but I always am, like a hawk might I add. I smile at her and she knows what I’m about to say. ‘No no’ she says pointing her muddy leafy finger at me- sounding, looking and smiling exactly like me. I spend every second with my baby and yet I have no clue how the months have flown by. Sigh. Where has the time gone?
Hiding behind the drapes, asking me to open the door for the hundredth time. I love this feisty little girl with all I have.
Exactly 39 weeks and 4 days ago, I went into labor after carrying mihi for 39 weeks and 4 days. It was the mostintense, nerve-wrecking experience of my life but it was also the most beautiful.That night, after I watched what my body endured to bring my baby into this world, I will never be able to find flaws with the way it simply ‘looks’. My body grew my baby from ground up and safeguarded it until the very second that it trusted my arms to proceed caring for her.
Well, this also means that Mihi has known the world outside just as much as from the inside of my womb. I can’t help but ask myself if she remembers any of it? Do you think she misses it? What a bittersweet feeling this is. The tiniest possibility that she may have completely forgotten about what it was like on the inside, breaks my heart, just a little bit. But the fact that she is here with us, day and night, giggling, screaming and driving us crazy makes me so happy. Our baby girl, this precious little baby girl is ours and just how lucky are we!
One from our maternity photoshoot last year. Sigh.
Mihi is teething, a little white bud has popped that looks red-ish today. She won’t let me get a good look at it but I’m positive that a mean tooth is on it’s way hurting my poor baby. She won’t let me put her down, she won’t nurse, she won’t play and she won’t (wait for it…) sleep! She is clearly in pain and I’m clearly exhausted.
I’m also really sad because i’ll miss watching that toothless grin more than anything else. And teeth will make my little baby … err… look grown up :-( I’m not ready for that transformation just yet. Her gummy smiles are healing and therapeutic, they put a bandaid on my problems, lifting my spirits up almost instantly. And I will miss it so so much. I’m sure the one with teeth will be just as precious, but this marks the end of an era for me.
My baby girl is 8 months old already and I know that time has flown by quick, but somehow the pop of a tiny tooth bud has hit me with the force of a thousand bricks. Wait. We just brought her home from the hospital. A tiny little baby who slept without a peep in the crevice of my arms oblivious to the world around her- nursing and napping on repeat. Today, she is babbling words, sitting, crawling, clapping and waving, hugging and kissing. She has a favorite food, a favorite book and a favorite song. She already has a fierce personality and a heart of gold. My Mihira is pure magic, you guys!
Her toothless gummy smile will be sorely missed! *sniff-sniff*
Until recently, I was all hung up about quitting my job to raise our daughter. It was solely my decision and yet, it felt as if I was making a huge sacrifice. Well, may be it is a huge sacrifice may be its nothing at all. However, I woke up one morning and there was a tiny baby sleeping on my bed- staring at me and giggling like a fool! I was within her arm’s reach, so she touched my face with her slobber coated fist (her mouth has found her hand and how!) desperately waiting for me to pick her up. It’s incredible how the littlest things often put everything into perspective.
Well, I’ve dedicated every ounce of my existence to help her thrive, teaching her things I deem important. In return, she is teaching me how to love- truly, madly, deeply without boundaries or sense of space. Honestly though, her love has crushed my ego in ways I cannot describe- piercing right through to my soul. A love so powerful that it’s darn near killing me and toughening me up bit by bit to brace what has been, THE ride of my life! All I know is that I cannot live without it anymore.
I’m positive I’ll make time to pen down everything I feel one of these days (nights?). Until then, I have somewhere to be- somewhere beautiful, someplace magical.
For weeks now, I have been contemplating if I should write down her birth story somewhere or if I should keep it all to myself. It wasn’t as dramatic as I was made to believe-I’ll give you that, but I should probably write something down for her to read in the future. Right?
Gosh. I don’t know where to begin because I don’t know where it ends. Or does it? I want to say so much and yet, I can’t seem to garner two words (or two minutes?) to describe how I feel. Well, Mihira was born on Oct 24th at 1.42am- exactly on our third year anniversary. Yeah she is stealing our thunder already both literally and figuratively speaking. And I had the most amazing birthing experience at a hospital. Yes, a hospital! I am still in awe of what my body did that day all by itself. However, what took me by surprise was what came after. Nothing could have prepared me for it. But now, I have my daughter teaching me how to be a better mother, a cry and a smile at a time. In the beginning, she darn near killed me with love that I wasn’t equipped to handle but now, I can’t live without it!
I will come back and share more meaningful bits of my glamorous life, until then, pictures as per usual.
She gets her big ugly feet from me.
Watching these two absolutely melts my heart!
He is a tad more obsessed about her than I am.
In love :)
Gotta remember that first walk.
I am so glad that somethings don’t change.
I may not remember today’s date or if I took a shower this morning, can’t tell if it’s day or night, just feels like a stretch of time. A long stretch. Sleep deprived- I shut my eyes and sang for her, my sore arms rocked her back and forth. Then, at the crack of dawn, with a nip of winter chill, I caught a glimpse of my baby smiling in her sleep.
Her smile has stirred a kind of fierce love inside of me that I didn’t know I even had.
19 days in, and oh so overwhelmed. And! Crazy postpartum hormones, go away!!