… is magical!
My inlaws are here with us for a while and we are making the best of it.
… we found out I was pregnant.
I had spent the day at a friends’ and I casually happened to mention to her how my breathing rate and appetite had gone up all of a sudden, for no apparent reason. With a raised brow she asked me if I was pregnant. I laughed and shrugged off the possibility almost immediately with a – ‘What?! Noway! Pregnant? Nope!’ she grinned and excused herself to make us both some coffee. I was in the living room by myself and for a second there, my heart raced a thousand miles and my mind blanked the heck out. I had never been pregnant before, but I knew. I knew I was pregnant. I never could finish that coffee and left feeling strange in my own skin, with a lump in my throat.
What transpired over the next few weeks is a long story but what a terrific journey it’s been. I’m so thankful that Mihi chose our home. She is the absolute joy of our lives.
Wind chill don’t seem to bother this one. I open the balcony door for her and watch her stash as many dried leaves as her little palms will let her. She is desperate to taste the muddy leaves but holds herself back for she knows her mama won’t let her. She looks around to see if I’m watching her and sneak in a bite somehow. I wish I wasn’t but I always am, like a hawk might I add. I smile at her and she knows what I’m about to say. ‘No no’ she says pointing her muddy leafy finger at me- sounding, looking and smiling exactly like me. I spend every second with my baby and yet I have no clue how the months have flown by. Sigh. Where has the time gone?
Hiding behind the drapes, asking me to open the door for the hundredth time. I love this feisty little girl with all I have.
I wonder if she will remember this year of her life when she grows up- her tiny body curled up against mine nursing and napping on repeat, all day, everyday. I wonder if she remembers that early morning nursing session when she woke up and her sleepy eyes looked straight into mine and smiled for the very first time. I wonder if she will miss sleeping in the embrace of my iron clad arms. (At one point I was convinced that I will need an arm replacement surgery!) I wonder if the bags under my eyes will remind her of the time she kept me up all night, wanting to nurse and refusing to sleep. I wonder if she will ever truly understand how I have dedicated every ounce of my existence to help her thrive. I wonder if she will ever realize what a powerful and an overwhelmingly beautiful influence she has been in my life.
Well, there is a good chance she won’t remember any of it. Heck, there is a good chance even I won’t remember all of it. But you know what, it doesn’t matter. If anything, the very core of our relationship has been built on the incredible experiences we have shared together. And to say that nursing her was in some way or another an indispensable part of every one of our adventures these last twelve months would be an understatement. Nursing for me is not a thing that I accomplished but a feeling. An indescribable feeling of love that my daughter and I will carry in our hearts forever that our minds will soon forget. Sigh.
Mihira, my little love, your dad and I love you more than we are willing to admit. We are absolutely thrilled to have you in our lives and so dang proud of every little thing you have accomplished this year. We adore your feisty personality and beyond excited to watch you grow.
Happy first birthday baby!
The last six weeks have been utterly exhausting and incredibly rewarding at the same time. I’ve known myself – body and soul like never before, flooded with one messy realization after another. One of them stands out though. I’ve realized that I can do just about anything with one hand. Brush my teeth, wear a bra, eat, text, email, dance, you name it. Yup, one hand is all I need because the other one is busy carrying this beautiful nine pound redemption.
For weeks now, I have been contemplating if I should write down her birth story somewhere or if I should keep it all to myself. It wasn’t as dramatic as I was made to believe-I’ll give you that, but I should probably write something down for her to read in the future. Right?
Gosh. I don’t know where to begin because I don’t know where it ends. Or does it? I want to say so much and yet, I can’t seem to garner two words (or two minutes?) to describe how I feel. Well, Mihira was born on Oct 24th at 1.42am- exactly on our third year anniversary. Yeah she is stealing our thunder already both literally and figuratively speaking. And I had the most amazing birthing experience at a hospital. Yes, a hospital! I am still in awe of what my body did that day all by itself. However, what took me by surprise was what came after. Nothing could have prepared me for it. But now, I have my daughter teaching me how to be a better mother, a cry and a smile at a time. In the beginning, she darn near killed me with love that I wasn’t equipped to handle but now, I can’t live without it!
I will come back and share more meaningful bits of my glamorous life, until then, pictures as per usual.