… is magical!
My inlaws are here with us for a while and we are making the best of it.
Wind chill don’t seem to bother this one. I open the balcony door for her and watch her stash as many dried leaves as her little palms will let her. She is desperate to taste the muddy leaves but holds herself back for she knows her mama won’t let her. She looks around to see if I’m watching her and sneak in a bite somehow. I wish I wasn’t but I always am, like a hawk might I add. I smile at her and she knows what I’m about to say. ‘No no’ she says pointing her muddy leafy finger at me- sounding, looking and smiling exactly like me. I spend every second with my baby and yet I have no clue how the months have flown by. Sigh. Where has the time gone?
Hiding behind the drapes, asking me to open the door for the hundredth time. I love this feisty little girl with all I have.
Until recently, I was all hung up about quitting my job to raise our daughter. It was solely my decision and yet, it felt as if I was making a huge sacrifice. Well, may be it is a huge sacrifice may be its nothing at all. However, I woke up one morning and there was a tiny baby sleeping on my bed- staring at me and giggling like a fool! I was within her arm’s reach, so she touched my face with her slobber coated fist (her mouth has found her hand and how!) desperately waiting for me to pick her up. It’s incredible how the littlest things often put everything into perspective.
Well, I’ve dedicated every ounce of my existence to help her thrive, teaching her things I deem important. In return, she is teaching me how to love- truly, madly, deeply without boundaries or sense of space. Honestly though, her love has crushed my ego in ways I cannot describe- piercing right through to my soul. A love so powerful that it’s darn near killing me and toughening me up bit by bit to brace what has been, THE ride of my life! All I know is that I cannot live without it anymore.
I’m positive I’ll make time to pen down everything I feel one of these days (nights?). Until then, I have somewhere to be- somewhere beautiful, someplace magical.
For weeks now, I have been contemplating if I should write down her birth story somewhere or if I should keep it all to myself. It wasn’t as dramatic as I was made to believe-I’ll give you that, but I should probably write something down for her to read in the future. Right?
Gosh. I don’t know where to begin because I don’t know where it ends. Or does it? I want to say so much and yet, I can’t seem to garner two words (or two minutes?) to describe how I feel. Well, Mihira was born on Oct 24th at 1.42am- exactly on our third year anniversary. Yeah she is stealing our thunder already both literally and figuratively speaking. And I had the most amazing birthing experience at a hospital. Yes, a hospital! I am still in awe of what my body did that day all by itself. However, what took me by surprise was what came after. Nothing could have prepared me for it. But now, I have my daughter teaching me how to be a better mother, a cry and a smile at a time. In the beginning, she darn near killed me with love that I wasn’t equipped to handle but now, I can’t live without it!
I will come back and share more meaningful bits of my glamorous life, until then, pictures as per usual.
Whoever said fights make people come closer must have said so under the influence of cheapjack alcohol and distasteful drugs for there is no buzz of excitement or anything, just a bad hangover to nurse, that’s all. I for one seem to have a doctorate in this department. Put me in an awkward situation, I smile and ignore as much as I possibly can at first, throw a harmless (yet sarcastic) fit, bid a supersonic clarification as a final counter and when all else fails, start a verbal war. You see, I have the shortest fuse known to mankind wedded to a vicious tongue. So, our wars are everything but honorable. It’s ugly & offensive; painful & quick. No one dies but the soul chokes up a few times and picks itself up in no time but somehow, the pieces don’t fit the way they used to- there is a word for it I think, I don’t know. Patience may not be one of strong suits but I always (always!) make an effort to see the other side of the argument despite seething blood gushing through my veins. Even when I don’t have an urge to justify, I feel I owe it to my sheer existence as a woman to stand up for what I believe in at all times. As though, a clever (or a loud) comeback somehow justifies the fact that a bazillion womanlikes from motherland are hushed without sound logic making way for a patriarchal society to thrive and grow.
Anyhow just wanted to get that off my chest. I hate fights! Moving on.
I’m 28 weeks today. A little wobbly, liking my food super-spicy, working out almost every day, painting furniture and shopping baby stuff to create a small nursery for our winter baby. This is probably one of the best years of my life and I’m reveling in the melodrama as much as I humanly can. Here is what month of July looked like! + a hundred other things of course.